So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
