4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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