Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
