seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
