Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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