But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
