Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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