DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
