i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
