just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
