Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
