I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
