i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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