do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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