READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
