I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
