she was so not down for the gang bang
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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