I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
they need to just BURY HIM!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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