we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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