I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
