i permit you to call me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
