I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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