Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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