so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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