Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
