i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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