she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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