Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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