my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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