Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
