her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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