i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
