You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
