I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
