Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
