My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
