do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i think my cat just said my name.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
