I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
