I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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