I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
