When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We are two peas in an std pod
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
