OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
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