I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
