Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
When are your genitals available?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
