I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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