I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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