sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
