you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
