The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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