her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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