i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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