Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it hurts more in the daytime
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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