sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
