he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
