O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
