i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
