My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
