Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
