am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize