I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
