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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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