the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
