I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
