Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
