sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
